These Ordinary Days

Have you ever been devastated?  I used to think I understood what that meant until it happened to me.  A little over a year ago, on March 1, 2006, I found my mother dead in her bedroom.  My heart was broken, is broken.  Before, I had girls reject me or dump me, and I thought my heart was broken.  But I always got over those hurts.  I still hurt for my mom.  I miss her so much.  Over a year has passed, I still cry at least once every three days.

I was singing a Jars of Clay song today called "These Ordinary Days".  The refrain is "I don’t know where, I don’t know how, I don’t why, but your love can make these things better".  It is cry of longing for God, when words aren’t sufficient, when my all is not nearly enough.  The tears flow.

I look for the day when my heart will be whole again.  I really miss my mom, I miss her, I do.

I guess that’s all I have to say about that.