I am normally a friendly, outgoing person. I even greet all the animals I see ("Hi dog! What’s up kitty? How are you doing Mr Squirrel?). At the very least, I make eye-contact and smile at my co-workers when I pass them in hallway.
But sometimes I have other things on my mind. Sometimes I just need to think. That means that I may not acknowledge someone. It’s not friendly, I know, but sometimes it’s necessary.
If I am in that space, I need to be left alone. I don’t need to be comforted. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m not angry. Don’t tell me to cheer up or be happy. Interrupting my thoughts will make me angry, and it will definitely piss me off if you tell me how to feel, regardless of how I am actually feeling.
People with whom I am expected to share my feelings and thoughts know that I will when I’m ready. If that’s not you, just back off. You will not endear yourself to me or build a friendship by challenging my privacy.
For the most part, this isn’t any of you, dear readers, but I just had to get this out. I mean, I can’t just tell co-workers and acquaintances to fuck off, right? That would be pretty rude. But let me speak for my introverted brethren out there in blogosphere and elsewhere: If we don’t usually share ourselves with you, don’t presume that we should. Asking about what’s going on is nice, insisting when we are resisting is not nice (back off, please).
Oh, and for God’s sake, do not touch me, unless I have specifically invited you into my personal space. People that are allowed to touch me without asking permission include my family, closest friends, and most of the people in my church. This group does not include co-workers, unless we have relationship outside of work. Just don’t do it. It really bothers me. Seriously, don’t.
Hey…is it a female or male that is pressuring you? Watch “He Said, She Said” by Dr. Deborah Tannen…no not the Kevin Bacon Movie! HA! She is an expert on gender linquistics. I show it to my students & men & women are enculturated so differently on communicating about feelings, touching etc. My students love it & she explains why men feel women nag them & why men don’t want to stop for directions ETC!