Have you ever been devastated? I used to think I understood what that meant until it happened to me. A little over a year ago, on March 1, 2006, I found my mother dead in her bedroom. My heart was broken, is broken. Before, I had girls reject me or dump me, and I thought my heart was broken. But I always got over those hurts. I still hurt for my mom. I miss her so much. Over a year has passed, I still cry at least once every three days.
I was singing a Jars of Clay song today called "These Ordinary Days". The refrain is "I don’t know where, I don’t know how, I don’t why, but your love can make these things better". It is cry of longing for God, when words aren’t sufficient, when my all is not nearly enough. The tears flow.
I look for the day when my heart will be whole again. I really miss my mom, I miss her, I do.
I guess that’s all I have to say about that.